Take The Ditry S

WOW....!! What a performance by that Wrangler wearing, flip flopping fossil of a quarterback Brett Favre! AP didnt even need to be on the field today. Ray Rice also took it to the house 3 times today.

I going to go with the J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS... tonight v the Chargers. Although, the Sandiegons bring a high powered offense to the field. I feel like the Jets top ranked defense will step up once again and shut down the Chargers.

Saturday Pick

Two high powered offenses will go at it this afternoon. Who to take? Well...this is a very tough game to pick, but I am going to suggest Saints -4 First Half. I think the Saints will come out firing on all cylinders, but the game will tighten towards the end. The Cardinals have weapons in Fitz, Breaston and Doucet at wideout which will be a huge factor if New Orleans jumps out to a big lead. Neither team is known for the defenses so anything is possible. Saints 1st half line is a safe bet.

Hangover Saturday

Hungover as shit. Rumplemitz, Patron and mass beers will do that to you. Left the bar fairly early....played some late night pool and won a cool 60 bones, wabakee? Parking my ass on the couch for most of the day. Thinking about going to the range to hit some balls to make sure my game is in check. Went downstairs this morning and cleaned up some fat d spitters, not my favorite thing to see/smell in the morning. Buhda may or may not have took my friend Falcon home with him last night. Gotta lay down or I may puke.

"Hey...so hows that diet coming along?"

Daily Grind

Well, despite the Cavaliers comeback in the end they still lost by 1. It appeared to be locked up pending some free throws being made on Cleveland's part. However, big misses by Z and AP gave the Utah squad a gleam of light. The rook out out UGA, Gains, made a huge splash and the game winning with time expiring. Props to him.

Shore last night was pretty entertaining as always for those of you who watch. Snooki is still a fat lil turd that cries every episode, Ronnie destroyed some guys face and went to jail and The Situation was creepin and pissing the whole house off. I hadn't watched MTV since freshman year of High School till this show, but am glad I got sucked into it. I can safely say that I find a great amount of humor in what these extreme fistpumpers do on a daily basis.

I'll leave you with this:

Harry From Close Quarters Pick of the Night

Good Evening dummies. Just got back from a nice meal of a dozen wings at one of the best places to get them around town. My stomach is screaming and I have to crap, so this post may be short or even unfinished. The Cavaliers are rolling through the west coast and are 1 of 2 NBA games being played tonight. Vegas currently has the Cavs vs. Jazz at a PK. Haven't looked at wagerline or any of those sites, but I don't have to because I can tell you that almost 70% of the public is on Cleveland. The smart thing to do here would not be to take the game. However, we here at HSIMB don't give a fuck and will go ahead and tell you to pick Cleveland as a PK.

The Cavaliers are one of the hottest if not the hottest team in the NBA right now. They are one mission and one mission only, win a ring for the king. LeBron has established his presence in the paint during the whole road trip which makes him even more dangerous. If opponents decide to double team him he can kick out to one of their marksman in AP, Mo Flow or even Big Z to drain some buckets...plus one.

Anyways, bottles poppin, turtlehead poppin...out

Tiger Feeling The Heat

As most of you may know, Tiger Woods has been in hiding for the past month or so. Some may say he's hiding because of a mangled face, missing teeth and pure embarrassment because he banged 12 broads that weren't his wife. I myself on the other hand think a case of uncontrollable swamp has developed.

I came across a 2007 PGA Championship article which included the picture featured above. As we all know, Woods went on to win the PGA Championship that year, but few know of the battle he fought; "Swamp Ass." I don't know if it was the texture of the pants, but man did he look worse than John Daly. Sure Daly keeps his cool by packing a fat d and slammin' diet cokes during his rounds, but damn Tiger....you must be doing something wrong.

According to multiple sources, as the day brightened and humidity increased, "Swamp Ass" crept around and on to the front of Tiger's pants. It's safe to say that this wasn't really "Swamp Ass," but was instead his evil cousin "Swamp Cock" who was playing for keeps.

Here's a tip for you Tiger, we know that you change your gloves every few holes, but please bring a few extra pairs of pants next time (if ever you come out of hiding) to save the embarrassent. Your a great golfer and have won many events, but going 0-1 against the "Swamp Family" is something you don't want to do. My apologies to those who saw this live in HD.

Any other cases of Swamp should be sent to kfclatenight@gmail.com

Wednesday Pick

We are taking Pitt over UConn in an upset tonight @ 7. Pitt is ready to make a name for themselves in the Rivalry with the Huskies. In addition, they are hungry for a shot at taking the Big East Championship. Ashton Gibbs is gonna shoot lights out and have a solid defensive apprerance. Take Pitt to win +240 and win yourself a free bar tab or buy yo girl a ring.

Who Let The Dogs Out?

The recent hirings of coaches Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis not only gave the Chiefs coaches with experience, but also left them with a coaching staff that outweighs their defensive line. Most Kansas City fans are unsure about the addition of Crennel, but the localKrispie Kream stores are unanimously in favor of his presence. The local ChineseBuffets have taken a different approach by switching menu's in order to prevent a possible Weis-Crennel buffet perfect storm. When a reporter asked a Chinese buffet owner why the switch, the owner replied, "I can barely serve Godzilla, no serve two." The combination of Weis and Crennel will likely lead to less wins for the Chiefs and a Big Mac famine for Kansas City. Cranes are the only thing that can get these big boys out of the city, good luck.

HOLY SHIT MCGWIRE DID ROIDS!?!?!!?!

There is no doubt that 'roids have tainted the baseball records! I think we should start a roid league. Where everyone can juice up and rake. Then it wont matter, no one will care!!!!!

The roiders can have their records and the MLB can have theirs. We all saw how entertaining this is: XFL!!!! I think these meat heads are ruining pro sports. If you get caught juicing your DONE!!

Carbo loading fuck ups!

Tuesday Pick

Whats goin on knuckleheads. Great win with the Cleveland moneyline last night bringing our young YTD record to 4-2.

Our pick for today will be the Orlando Magic -4. The Magic have been struggling as of late. What better way to get back on the winning track than to play a young and inexperienced Kings team. The Kings have been plagued by an injury to Kevin Martin, their leading scorer from last year and have had to rely on 1st year rookie Tyreke Evans. With Dwight Howard and Orlando's deep bench, they should cover easily.

Good luck everyone.

Monday Night Pick

Gonna go with a more conservative pick and suggest the Cavaliers moneyline at -240. By the way, any line we post comes from Bookmaker.com

Cleveland is coming off an impressive win playing at Portland last night. LeBron started out with 21 first quarter points, going 8-8 from the field. Brandon Roy lit it up in the second half, but the Cavaliers held on to win the game.

In a few hours the Cavaliers will tip off against the young Golden State Warriors who have won just 11 games this season and are .500 at home. Cleveland looks to maintain their #1 spot in the Eastern Conference. I think that if they keep Monta Ellis in check they win easy here.

Good Luck Dummies.

Daily Thoughts

Hello, Hola and Wabakee. Been really busy today to post anything so for that I apologize. As I was doing my early blog reading this morning before doing anything productive and I came across this:

Nice dude.....nice.

Some other daily thoughts and things I observed:

• Girls should not be allowed to drive.
• Patron has currently been stealing money from my bank account every weekend for the past 3 months, shit.
• Saw a plethora of fupa's today. Girls, let's get that under control.
• LeBron James is not human.
• I am friends with a Falcon.
• Girls are all the same and relationships should be avoided as long as possible.

Gonna post and watch some bball and maybe get a nice run in to get rid of any fupa particles in my bod.

Be well and do work.

Sunday Afternoon Pick

Wabakee everyone. Still posted, haven't moved, haven't showered. Packers vs. Cardinals isn't the game I particularly want to watch, but I do like the Cardinals at home +3. Even without Boldin in the lineup, the Cards is still a high power offense with Fitz and Breaston at wideout and old man Warner at QB. Arizona is still salty about last years loss in the Super Bowl to the to the Steelers and will be looking to make a reappearance this year. Take the Cards getting 3.

I love you Brenda Warner.

Saturday Night Recap

Well, it's safe to say we had an eventful night last night. The Situation was hitting the bar and hitting on fatty magoo. Falcon was flying around the bar buying 20 shots of patron. Wallets and keys were left, dreams were shattered. Girl from Fast and the Furious Tokoyo Drift was there, yes....wabakee. The bar witnessed the Plague, yes they have wide faces. Falcon bench presses on the floor and gets ass whooped. Just got back from Chipotle and about to crap my pants.

Nice Civic, dude.

Hangover Sunday

New England Moneyline -210. We like the Patriots to take the game today despite the absence of slot reciever Wes Welker. Welker led the team and the league in receptions during the regular season. The Ravens will put most of their work load on second year running back Ray Rice. If the Patriots can keep Rice in check they should win this game easily. Check back later for our Packers/Cards pick.

The Plague is here.

Day Drinking Update

(3:32PM) Currently on beer number 6 and watching Blazing Saddles with some reh-tard. Nonetheless, feeling some flow and wow now we're watching "Holes" ? This is going to be interesting . Does anyone want to power hour???

(4:01PM) Beer number 8, things are getting a little crazy. Anyone out there?

(5:01PM) Bengals up 7-0, double digit beers and packing heat.

(5:20PM) Solider down. Passed out with Bud Light in hand. Pretty weak if you ask me for "The King of Lakewood."

(5:21PM) The victim appears to be drooling on himself.

(6:10PM) The subject appears to be crapped out and the Bungles are shitting the bed. About to wake this rehtard up and hit the bars.

(6:55PM) Wow just work up from passout. Cincy is still losing looks like my first pick was a bust. Time to regroup and pick tonights game...........

(&:91PM) OK... Bungles just ran in a touchdown.. I like the Cowboys tonights. They had a blow out win last week and are looking to make a playoff victory. Romo has a lot to prove and I think they spank the post season Eagles. It s going to be a shootout, Romo v McNabb. Americas Team -1.5

NFL Playoff Pick

As much as I hate the Bungles, I think they come out strong today and cover against the Jets. With Chris Henry in mind, the Bungles will be playing for more than just a spot in the AFC Championship. Despite the Jets 37-0 blowout last week, their lack of post season play will be the difference in the game. Not to mention a rookie QB, Mark Sanchez, playing in his first playoff appearance in his young NFL career. Take the Bungles -2.5

Welcome to the JUNGLE!

Whats Good

OK... SO.... this is my first blog. Been thinking abt doing it for a while and here it is. Im a cleveland native and a sports fanatic. Oh yea and I blacked out last night fuck... Im here to bring an interesting and entertaining blog w/ picks and random topics i hope you enjoy. Fist-pumps and blackouts for all!